This is a fanfic of the Pirate of the Caribbean, everything in this fanfic is not owned by me.
I wrote the story bases on after the event of PoC: On Stranger Tides. This is the final version of it.
Chapter 1: Good Old Rival.
On the port city of Tortuga, prostitutes and all kinds of
criminals are dangling on every corner of the streets. Fighting and killing
happen in this city as an initial element of life. Hidden in this corrupted
city, a one of a kind bar, which is excluded from all sins happening around
Tortuga, silently and peacefully did existed. The bar operates as every bar
should be in those civilized societies, people drinking and chatting as utmost
normal as it could be, which seems incredibly strange in this kind of city.
Customer here wear with only 1 kind of color on the clothes, white it is, which
would not help but brings curiosities to anyone who is a new face here. Despise
all that, in the deepest corner of this mysterious bar, two men are whispering,
ridiculously out of space too with their normal clothes.
"Why are we here, Jack? There are many places I'd rather be elsewhere than this stupid kind of place ... errs... What was it called...? Somewhat "Le Fanatics", aye?" The man with thick beard said.
"Why are we here, Jack? There are many places I'd rather be elsewhere than this stupid kind of place ... errs... What was it called...? Somewhat "Le Fanatics", aye?" The man with thick beard said.
"Le Fanatre Soleil,” The bandanna-headed man with a long curly tied hair added.
"Aye, that's the name! What was this idiotic name? And why are we speaking with this whispering manner? We are in a BAR for Pete's sake!" The bearded-man grumbled.
"Gibbs, if ye wouldn't shut the trap of ye off, I will do it for ye. Savvy?" -the bandanna-headed man whispered.
Jack, running his black rimmed eyes around the bar, looked cautiously and slowly in every corner of it.
"Does it bother you why is this bar, a weird-manner
sickening bar it is, so quietly and unusual in this chaotic Tortuga?" -
Jack asked Gibbs while his eyes still remained cautious...
"Aye, no frickin' idea," Gibbs said.
"Do you know who is running this boring pile of
rum?" - Jack continues.
"Nope. That is the question I would love to be answered by
you, Jack," - Gibbs sighed
"Tell me, Gibbs. Who do you think I, the infamous Captain
Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl....."
"-Former Captain! If we consider the ship has been shrunk
into a bottled-ship, you have no ship anymore to be captain"- Gibbs cut
in.
"...CAPTAIN of the Black Pearl!" - Jack stressed -
"And I will regain the Pearl back in its usual form. That I
guarantee to you, Mr. Gibbs! Savvy?"
"Aye ..." - Gibbs, frustrated, nodded his head
while staring into spaces.
"Well, back to the question, who do you think I fear the
most? My treacherous mate Barbossa or good ol' Davy Jones?" - Jack asked
with a minor shivering voice.
"Aye, I would bet it on the old Davy Jones. You did died by
his little tentacle-pet," - Gibbs squinted
"Oi, no, me hearty. I would rather don't meet him, not fear
him, savvy?" - Jack grinded.
"Blimey! If you ain't even fear Davy Jones, I don't think
you would fear anything else," - Gibbs gasped, surprisingly.
"Aye, I take that as a compliment. Well, there is, indeed,
someone who I fear of, someone I cannot outsmart, savvy? I ain't fear of people
who I can outsmart, able to cheat them, but those I can't, Savvy?" - Jack
said with his fingers unintentionally waved.
"Aye" - Gibbs said.
"The mate who runs this place, his name is Luz; he is the
leader of "Les Enfants Terribles…"
"-LES ENFANTS TERRIBLES"??? THE LES ENFANTS TERRIBLES???"
- Gibbs cut in with his high toned voice.
"-- he's my oldest mate, as well as my greatest nemesis. I
respected him as much as I feared him. Savvy?" - Jack continues with his
shivering voice.
"Aye, in that case, then I understands why this bar is like
this, eh?" - Gibbs said.
"Aye, there are not only me afraid of that man. The people
here as well, in this VERY alike pit hole Tortuga, don't DARE cross him" -
Jack continues.
"How do they dare, I wonder, these pirates are the most
powerful group in the entire ocean. Even good ol' Davy Jones would have to
think twice when facing them head on. They would dare do anything, and I really
mean ANYTHING. The only thing weird about them is that they do not kill women,”
- Gibbs stated.
"That's not really scary, ain't mate?" - Jack sounded
confused.
Gibbs sighed and put his face on his palm. He said, "Why do I have the feeling that I'm gonna be drag forcefully into messing with these dangerous folks VERY soon? By you, of course! Despite the fact, we are already aware of how FRIENDLY these folks are!" - Gibbs said with utmost awareness - "Your bloody skull is cracked, do you know that Jack?! But that is what I like about you, aye!" - Gibbs added.
"..... You probably might want to change your feeling
after this." - Jack said with a guilty glance while anxiously biting his
fingernails.
"The boss is expecting you, Mr. Jack Sparrow and Mr. ...?"
- Suddenly, the conversation was cut-off by the present of a tall-muscular man
dressed in decent white clothes and politely manners.
"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, if you don't mind, lad." - Jack
awkwardly corrected the man.
".... Cor blimey! You knew about this Jack?! Not
again!" - Surprised Gibbs shouted, narrower his eyes while doing so.
Jack folded his palms together while saying "I'm
sorry" in his mouth but the words did not break into sound, like he was
swallowing his own guilty words.
The man looked across the room, to the end of it, where lies the barkeep and those skulls which displayed on top of the counter as a decoration. Only Davy Jones could tell if those skulls are real or not.
“Mr. Jack and Mr. Cor Blimey, please, this way." - The man
stepped aside and shown them a way into the black wooden door behind the
counter of the bar.
"It's Gibbs ...
Argh, whatever, I just hope you know what you are doing Jack!" - Gibbs
grumbled angrily.
"In fact, I don't, love," - Jack said while trying to
swallow in his blocked throat - "And it's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow," -
Jack turned his back, focused his trimmed eyes into the eyes of the tall man,
as if he was threatening him.
Jack and Gibbs followed the big man, passed the door behind the
counter, walked through a long, dark and hideous hallway. When they got to the
end of the hall, the big man opened the door and invited the two of them in. As
they walked in, those fire bundles running along the hallway wall surprisingly
light up, flickering rapidly.
A young man walked out from the shadow of the dark, he has long dark hair, touching his shoulders, and stubble covered his handsome face. He has a deep brown eyes and a long scar, which crossed between his eyes. He wore a white light shirt with long sleeves, long brown leather pant, and a small red cloth wrapped around his wrist. Gibbs looked unusually anxious while Jack, on the other hand, leaned on and whispered to Gibbs ear:
"We should have wear dress," – Jack joked.
"Fancy that, if it isn't the infamous good ol’ Jack
Sparrow and his hearty, eh." - The young man said with a deep voice -
"Well well, I will give you 3 minutes to explain your true purpose here
before I decide to give you and your mate a "Survival Try-out". Oh,
and don't even count on your petty lies to save your skin, mate. I think you
have already learned that lesson, in a hard way as I recalled." - The
young man said with a cold-calming voice - "Starting NOW." - The
man stressed deeper.
"I want to join your crews" - Jack quickly said in
such an eagerly manner as well.
"WHAT?" - Gibbs could not believe what he has just
heard, those he thought only merely words came from Jack own mouth.
END CHAPTER.
Hi Luke sorry for the late post. Very interesting read and truthfully a bit confusing. I can see what you are trying to portray in your story and it has alot of potential.
ReplyDeleteJust a few suggestions that you might want to look in to grammar eg (2nd line) maybe use "occur" instead of "happen"? and (4th line) "peacefully did existed" maybe just have peacefully existed as that would make more sense. Sorry I'm not in any state to tell you what to do with your writing but just a suggestion for future reference. Overall this story has a lot of potential which could develop in to a magnificent story given more time, thoughts and editing with proper grammar. Thank you. :)